A lousy night and a lousy morning after
A couple of years ago there was this great advert that run in neighboring Uganda about a great night and a great morning after. Well that ad certainly wasn’t meant for the last 24 hours of my life.
First I am running flu. Not the baby flu where you buy a hanky and wait for it to blow over. This one has me sneezing into plates of delicious supper at a neighbor’s home… I have gotten so disgusted with having to use hanky’s I just went to the loo and grabbed an entire toilet roll and tucked it under my table. An hour ago, the waste basket was full so I calmly took it to the loo and tried to flush the “shiyat” down the loo. The loo got stuck with the water almost spilling over. It’s now stuck with the water at mid-bowl-level. If only I had seen this coming, I could have weighed the bucket of tissue, poured it in and flushed once then tried to obtain a set of formulae that define the time it takes the water to totally disintegrate the tissue and free up the bowl. With the set of formulae in hand, and the properties of tissue and water (“echi two O” as my Chemistry teacher used to pronounce it) I would have then applied this formulae to decomposition of nuclear reactor carriers. I can just see myself getting the Noble Prize and no one from my home country has won any… Oh the glory, the acclaim! Ok, enough about the crazy, back to the bad day…
I woke up mid morning about 3 hours late for work because I had to take a sleeping pill just to get some sleep THROUGH THE POUNDING HEADACHE cause by the aforementioned flu.
On the way to work I got a call from some moron who thinks I am dating his wife Akinyi. I spent the entire trip swearing that I have never met a woman called Akinyi and even if I did, I wouldn’t be so stupid as to leave any evidence if she was married. There is nothing as sad as a good man being accused of evil. Called my CFA proposer to tell her my dilemma and she laughed and said she wasn’t surprised. I swear! Or is it aterere… I don’t know where I chose my friends from. The latest is the guy has threatened to do something to me since he “knows” people and he “knows” where to get me. So moral dilemma… Do I insult him and double dare him to “come and get me” since I am sure I don’t know any Akinyi? Moral Dilemma because: -
i) He might be confusing me with someone else who he then goes and “gets”
ii) Maybe someone I know is called Akinyi and it is indeed me he intends to threaten and I will be “got”
iii) Maybe this Akinyi is innocent…. Naah… just i) and ii)
What is “getting me” anyway? Eish! (I learnt that “eish” within two weeks of coming to Nairobi… “Buy me a drink”… “No I am broke”… “Eish”)
My boss still hasn’t promoted me for coming late for the last company dinner; the salary is running out of month and I am afraid of the bwana wa Akinyi.
Life I love you, all is groovy!
Anyway so off I go to my humble crib (moved away from the alky poaching neighbor) where I will take the next sleeping pill to lala land.
First I am running flu. Not the baby flu where you buy a hanky and wait for it to blow over. This one has me sneezing into plates of delicious supper at a neighbor’s home… I have gotten so disgusted with having to use hanky’s I just went to the loo and grabbed an entire toilet roll and tucked it under my table. An hour ago, the waste basket was full so I calmly took it to the loo and tried to flush the “shiyat” down the loo. The loo got stuck with the water almost spilling over. It’s now stuck with the water at mid-bowl-level. If only I had seen this coming, I could have weighed the bucket of tissue, poured it in and flushed once then tried to obtain a set of formulae that define the time it takes the water to totally disintegrate the tissue and free up the bowl. With the set of formulae in hand, and the properties of tissue and water (“echi two O” as my Chemistry teacher used to pronounce it) I would have then applied this formulae to decomposition of nuclear reactor carriers. I can just see myself getting the Noble Prize and no one from my home country has won any… Oh the glory, the acclaim! Ok, enough about the crazy, back to the bad day…
I woke up mid morning about 3 hours late for work because I had to take a sleeping pill just to get some sleep THROUGH THE POUNDING HEADACHE cause by the aforementioned flu.
On the way to work I got a call from some moron who thinks I am dating his wife Akinyi. I spent the entire trip swearing that I have never met a woman called Akinyi and even if I did, I wouldn’t be so stupid as to leave any evidence if she was married. There is nothing as sad as a good man being accused of evil. Called my CFA proposer to tell her my dilemma and she laughed and said she wasn’t surprised. I swear! Or is it aterere… I don’t know where I chose my friends from. The latest is the guy has threatened to do something to me since he “knows” people and he “knows” where to get me. So moral dilemma… Do I insult him and double dare him to “come and get me” since I am sure I don’t know any Akinyi? Moral Dilemma because: -
i) He might be confusing me with someone else who he then goes and “gets”
ii) Maybe someone I know is called Akinyi and it is indeed me he intends to threaten and I will be “got”
iii) Maybe this Akinyi is innocent…. Naah… just i) and ii)
What is “getting me” anyway? Eish! (I learnt that “eish” within two weeks of coming to Nairobi… “Buy me a drink”… “No I am broke”… “Eish”)
My boss still hasn’t promoted me for coming late for the last company dinner; the salary is running out of month and I am afraid of the bwana wa Akinyi.
Life I love you, all is groovy!
Anyway so off I go to my humble crib (moved away from the alky poaching neighbor) where I will take the next sleeping pill to lala land.
posted by Ahimbi @ 4:17 pm
2 Comments:
At 7:46 pm,
Princess said…
I find it funny that you actually engaged in a full blown conversation with this stranger..I would have just told him I don't know any Akinyi and hung up on him....end of storo!!
At 11:07 am,
Ahimbi said…
Hehehe... I just cant be sure I dont know this Akinyi but you are right. Its just that in Nairobi one does need to live in some fear since bullets can be bought in mandazi stores and people do get mistakenly shot.Better to charm than to arm
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